Drabbles With Demons
by Chandelier-sama
Summary: And...100-word oneshots! Each one will poke fun at a different Inuyasha yaoi pairing (that involves straight men). Okay, so a lot of OOC-ness, but hey, this is straight yaoi! Wait- SOTA! What are you doing in the closet, you little pervert!
1. Miroku & Inuyasha

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I don't ship any of these pairings.

Miroku frowned. Since he had married Inuyasha, the hanyou had been acting...different. Well, that actually went without saying, since they had both changed immensely, since all the women in the world died of a sudden disease. Needless to say, Miroku had been quite sad. Inuyasha had been mostly grieving for Kagome. Miroku had been walking by, when it suddenly occured to him that Inuyasha would have made a hot girl. He suddenly had a brilliant idea. Inuyasha! Will you marry me?  
Keh, whatever.  
Miroku was woken from his daze by a shout from his wife/husband thingy. Miroku! I'm pregnant!


	2. Inuyasha & Sesshomaru

Sesshomaru had been acting...girly, lately. It disturbed Inuyasha quite a lot. You would think that after fifty years, his brother would realize that some people just didn't swing that way. It had been so _humiliating_ when Sesshomaru showed up at the annual dog-demons ball wearing a yellow frilly dress. He had attempted to hide behind Kagome, but Sesshomaru saw him first. The half-demon shivered. The memory of Sesshomaru running towards him, screaming was still fresh in his mind.  
There was a sudden banging noise, and Sesshomaru appeared in a flash of smoke, today wearing a hot pink kimono, with bows in his hair.  
The dog lord gushed. I finally got that sex change!  


Okay, so that was a bit over the word limit, but I still think it was damned funny.


	3. WTF?

Naraku stared into the depths of the mirror. "Kanna, show me him again."  
Kanna nodded silently, and the mirror changed to reflect the object of Naraku's desire.  
She never questioned her master's will, merely obeyed.   
Naraku's infamous smirk widened as he observed the going's on. He had picked the perfect time to peep, it seemed. For, alliteration aside, Naraku's love was bathing. "Ahhh, his perfection is ideal." Naraku sighed chauvaunistcally, never mind that this was a difficult feat, Naraku could manage it.  
Kagura raised an eyebrow as she entered the room. "Spying on your crush again, Naraku?"  
"What can I say? Jaken is damned hot!

A/N: That was almost as scarring as Miroku/Inuyasha (shivers). Nightmares coming... 


	4. Sesshomaru and Miroku

Sesshomaru was losing to Inuyasha, and badly. It was probably the fault of that monk. The monk was very distracting to Sesshomaru. True, the dog lord had never noticed him before, but the monk had never been doing a strip-tease before. Sesshomaru was quite suprised that the girls weren't distracted too. It made sense that his brother wasn't, as his back was to the monk, but really! Then again, he supposed that the priestess's reincarnation was distracted by his brother (no idea why, he was still wearing clothes, wasn't he?). The demon slayer was lying on the floor, though. Maybe a faint? Just then Inuyasha stabbed him in the shoulder.  
"I surrender, hanyou! The monk is too hot!"

A/N: Quite a bit over 100-words, but it's my favorite yet (just cause it proves how insane these pairings really are).

** Next time: Inuyasha/Kouga! **


	5. Inuyasha and Kouga

A/N: I completely blew the word limit to heck, okay? Sorry. Anyway, VERRRY quick RR- **InuAndMiroku'sGirl Sango Elric**: Disturbingly enough, yes. Search for InuyashaKouga, and you will find...terror. ** shippowantscandy**: Holy crap. Do I feel sorry for you... ** tashachan28 **: Neither can I. O.O I mean, aren't people allowed to hate each other anymore?  
Me is learning 2 languages, but I used crappy Mac translator for this, so is probably wrong.  
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE and next will be...I dunno. Any suggestions? And now, for your daily dose of yaoi terrorization (-.-) 

Kouga blinked. He was standing in a dark cave. Suddenly a vision of cubs doing the cha-cha appeared. The wolf prince said out loud. I'm having a dream.  
He shrugged and sat down to watch the strange fururistic dance. It didn't really matter to him what happened in dreams. Then Kagome walked in. Danse plutôt intéressante ils sont faisant, n'est-ce pas ?  
Kouga blinked.   
Je parle français vous doofus ! She then snorted and walked out.  
The wolf demon blinked again. That was sudden. Did she just call me a doofus?  
Then Inuyasha waltzed in. Literally.  
Kouga stared. Another futuristic dance?  
Inuyasha fluttered his eyelashes. Hiiiiiii, Kouga!  
Hello dog turd. Why are you behaving like a vixen on crack? Er, whatever that is. He corrected quickly.  
Poiché siete così buon osservare! Inuyasha squealed.  
  
Le damnez-vous, pourquoi ne vous lui obtenez-vous pas loup stupide ?  
Hey, I am FAR from stupid.  
Comme l'enfer. Je donne vers le haut, je vais de nouveau à Kagome! Inuyasha began to walk out.  
HEY! STAY AWAY FROM MY WOMAN!  
Elle est la mienne, anormal.  
Sie dummes Hundturd, das fünf Wölfe für Frühstück und das  
Zerschmettern einiger Autos gegessen und George Bush aß hat und I  
Fucking oben geben, o.k.! Kouga screamed after him.

A/N: Since Kagome spoke in French, and Inuyasha switched from Italian to French and then Kouga screamed in German, here are the translations in order.

Kagome: Rather interesting dance they are doing, is it not?  
Kagome: I'm speaking French you doofus!  
Inuyasha: Because you're so hot! (Or close to- this one was Italian)  
Inuyasha: Do you not understand what I am saying, you stupid wolf?  
Inuyasha: Like hell. I give up, I'm going back to Kagome.  
Inuyasha: She's mine, freak.  
Kouga: You stupid dog turd who ate five wolves for breakfast and crashed some cars and ate George Bush and I f------ give up, okay! (Roughly)


	6. Inuyasha and Hojo

HolyShitHolyShitHolyFreakingShit- I just found this really disturbing pairing...I am not brave enough to read, so this comes from sheer imagination and cunning guesswork.

"KAGOME!" Inuyasha bellowed. "GET OUT OF THE CLOSET, WOMAN!"  
Kagome disentangled herself from Souta's loving embrace. "Coming!" She turned back to Souta. "Hush, my love, he must not see us!"  
Souta titled her head. "Sis?"  
"Yes, darling?"  
"Couldn't this be considered incest?"  
Kagome thought about it. "Nah. This is just a crappy joke fanfiction."  
Souta shrugged. "Okay."  
Meanwhile, Hojo was climbing the stairs to the Higurashi residence. "Kagome?"  
"She's not going to come out."  
Hojo turned slowly. "Who are you?"  
Inuyasha shrugged. "Um...another guy waiting for Kagome to come out of the closet?"  
Hojo blinked. "What is she doing in the closet?"  
Inuyasha slapped his hand against his chest melodramatically. "Betraying us both, my rival in love!"  
Kagome's voice floated out of the closet. "Hey, Inuyasha? Your acting sucks. This isn't Shakespeare, this is Chandelier-sama."  
He shrugged. "Well, hey, this chapter's gone on too long anyway. Hojo, my love!"  
Hojo ran into Inuyasha's arms. "My love!"  
Inuyasha turned around mid-embrace, "Hey, Kagome? Can we make out later?"  
"Haven't we blown up the poor third wall enough?"

A/N: Thank you for your reviews. I am glad you are disturbed by my disturbing sense of humor. I enjoyed killing the third wall. It makes me feel strangely less perverted. Next chapter will feature Miroku...with...some guy...I dunno who yet...it'll just freaking have Miroku, okay? Or will it...I just looked at my reviews again...you make a good point, shippowantscandy. And if you people are disturbed by my sense of humor now, just wait 'till my Phantom of the Opera obsession kicks in (it'll come)...kukuku...Hey! I just got a really disturbing idea...thank you Michael Crawford (indicades headphones). 


	7. Kouga and Sesshomaru

Okay, so the NEXT chapter will feature Miroku. This time, I'm sure. I know what I am doing. 

Claimer: I just realised, I own The Annual Dog Demons Ball and the Annual Canine Demon Race. Mwahaha!

Kouga was running around in the forest...as usual. Actually, he usually ran around in the mountains, but who cares!  
Ahem.  
Anyway.  
So Kouga was practicing for the Annual Canine Demon Race, when he saw a beautiful woman in the forest. Kouga's mouth dropped open. Wow! It looks kind of like what dog-turd would look like as a woman, except taller (shoot, she's taller than me), and without those funny ears. MY WOMAN!  
Without further ado, Kouga jumped the woman.  
The woman coughed. Ahem. Get off me, wolf.  
Kouga frowned. Your voice sounds oddly...deep, for a woman.  
That might be because I'm a man, fool. Sesshomaru said coldly.


End file.
